i am wondering if my stomach will ever feel normal again. it has had to endure a constant state of turmoil for several weeks now and i'm beginning to worry. my stomach aches every time i think of leaving my kids, gets nauseous any time i look at food, and seems quite content to reside in a state of what can only be described as knotted so tight that i have trouble breathing... and let's not even mention the violent wrenching it experiences whenever i let my mind wander to what jack has been doing or may currently be doing as i write this. to make matters worse every time i have to see the jackass my stomach jumps ship from it's normal position and makes itself right at home somewhere in my throat while my heart simultaneously beats in hard, piercing pains.
whatever chemical signals hunger to my brain has just stopped even trying to bother... it knows it's not getting through. i've lost any color in my face, my eyes are red from lack of sleep, and yet the good news in all this is that i've managed to lose that 5 pounds that i've been nagging at since the birth of my last baby. well i've actually lost that 5 plus another 10 i didn't realize that i had to lose. i don't know if innocent passerby think i'm hooked on meth or just extremely hungover.
one such passerby who clearly hadn't gotten the memo or else couldn't see the gigantic "going through a divorce" sign that seems to be stuck to my forehead complimented me by asking me what i had been doing to lose weight. she casually laughed as she asked what diet i had been on- she'd love to try it.
i replied... "oh yeah it's a fail proof diet~ it's called 'discovering your husband has been sleeping with prostitutes for the past ten years diet' it works like a charm. the weight drops off in record time" a bit shocked she answered, "um, maybe not. i don't think i want to give that one a try" yeah i thought, well, neither did i.
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unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) miracle diets aren't really my thing. this post just made me hungry... can i please give my hunger receptors to you? ~i~
ReplyDeleteAhaha. I can only imagine!
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you aren't eating the house down which is what I do when I am sad, lonely, depressed, stressed, excited, happy, or basically any other emotion out there. My therapist has diagnosed me with an "emotional eating disorder." He tells me to drink a glass of water and wait ten minutes every time I feel the urge to eat. Gee thanks! I wonder why I never thought of such a brilliant and simple solution that doesn't even begin to work. How much am I paying you?!
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