thanks mom

I finally emerged from the basement this morning and even found my way to the shower.  It took hours longer than usual but I managed to get dressed in a real outfit, shaved legs and all.  I wandered down to the Christmas tree and began cracking off dead branches that still had ornaments clinging to them and tossing them into a box~ branch, ornament, pine needles and all.  Sorry Martha, this year they won't be gingerly wrapped in spice and fir scented tissue and carefully placed in their neatly labeled boxes.  About 10 ornaments in I sat on the couch, depleted of energy expended on my efforts, and stared at the white wall for the next 35 minutes and let my mind mull over romantic fantasies of fighting for my family, calling jack and accepting his offer to put things back together because clearly I wasn't doing so well without him anyways, and doing it all over again the right way this time.  I could be the perfect mother, the perfect wife and make it all go away.  However, my brain kept getting stuck on the part where I had to jump back in bed with jack and consummate our beloved reunion.

Maybe I had spent too much time alone and in the dark basement. And perhaps 72 hours of E! television warps one's senses a bit.

A knock at the door brought this all to an ubrupt halt... Thank god or I might still be sitting there.  It was Steve, the smiling twenty something from my neighborhood coffee shop.  I panicked momentarily thinking I was still in my 3 days worn clothing from my amoeba state.  I jumped up and opened the door.  There this little darling stood with my daily drink.  A 20 oz soy chai/half water/extra hot.  He mentioned that he hadn't seen me in 3 1/2 days and was concerned that I couldn't possibly be ok going that long without my tea.  What a man  boy man.  He added that he would be happy to take my garbage cans to the street.  Perhaps the 5 weeks worth of garbage spilling from them was becoming noticeable?  I thanked him profusely told him he was a lovely and assured him I would be back at the coffee shop tomorrow at my usual time.   I was tempted to ask if he might be interested in giving jack a few private lessons in how to be a man, but refrained.

As I sipped my tea, I received a call from mother.  Normally my reflexes hit the ignore button but the goodwill from my visit from Steve prevailed and I answered.  I casually mentioned that I had given some thought to reconciling with jack and my mom gasped and hung up.  Within moments my mom burst through the door, walked up to me and gave me a solid bitch-slap followed by a hug.

Just what I needed.